Whatever circumstance I find myself in (with all the concerns, issues, problems and struggles of my life), I find God asking me: “Can you do this for me?”
This is what I feel continuously and I keep asking myself, “Can I trust in Him and in His divine promise for me? Am I willing to give my life to Him and for Him? If yes, then why do I find myself resisting? Why do I feel that I cannot really give in to Him?”
It’s through asking myself these questions, meditatively pondering upon what it means for me to respond to His call, that I realize how He is drawing me to grow and develop a close relationship with Him. It makes me understand why He seems to disturb me and make me experience all kinds of conflicting situations and struggles. It is for this reason that I dare to say, “Lord, disturb me even more”, because then, I get to know what it is I have to offer and sacrifice my life for!
What this means for me is that my prayer life is, indeed, a way of communicating with God. And each and every time I start to pray and ask God’s intervention in the day-to-day events and happenings of my life, I ask for His constant faithfulness so that I can remain in Him as He remains in me all the time. I do not have to question anymore what happens to/in my life, and why it is happening. God has His own reason which is beyond my human comprehension; He is the one who gives meaning to everything. This becomes my guiding principle about God’s assuring presence and intervention in my life and the whole of life. He Himself has spoken to us through His Son Jesus Christ: “I have come that you may have life, and have it abundantly” (Jn. 10:10).
If I have this assuring presence of God in Jesus Christ, what then is preventing me to go deep in prayer and build a close relationship with Him? I have come to realize that, many times, my attitude, limitations, weaknesses, and of course, my laziness lead me into darkness, thus I become unfaithful in the little steps I know I am supposed to take and do for the good of all.
Lattana (Noi), Laos
IFFAsiaYou can also read Lattana's reflections, and other related articles in
Asian Hearts Speak - Sept 2009.