Longing To Love

A love letter to GOD:

LORD,
I thank you for calling me to this path of love
Where I experienced beautiful and ugly things around
That is indeed and precisely have mould me to a person of YOUR design
Those challenges, difficulties and pain that have brought me to whom I am now.

LORD,
I thank you for the push and the squeeze
Which was painful and uncomfortable
But it gave me life the moment I needed it most
I will not forget how hard it is to carry the crosses You have entrusted to me and how the hardship has transformed me to a person that you desire.

LORD,
I thank you for being my...
- eyes that I may see as you do
- nose that I may smell as you do
- ears that I may listen as you do
- mouth that I may speak the way you do
- hands that I may touch as you do
- feet that I may lead as you do
And I thank you for being my heart that I may love as you do.

Finally, LORD I thank you for being me that others will know that you are REAL.
Amen.

Entering into the end of the formation year, the verse keeps on reminding me of how it looks like to be a disciple of Christ. It is challenging and it is not going to be an easy task.

At first I was thinking that does it means to neglect myself, my health at all? Of course not! I began to realize that self-denial is about how I involve God in my daily life – from the beginning of the day till the sun goes down. How I did it? I make a peaceful agreement with myself, where before I go to bed I will make sure that I pray which most of the time a very simple dialogue with God.

Path of discipleship will not working without allowing God to stir me and life in Keningau was a mean where God has giving me the great “push”. I personally felt that I was mold; I was squeezed, to a person that God wanted me to become. There was a time I felt happy, sad and hurt. There was also a time I got angry and disappointed. However, above all these feeling, God is actually inviting me to trust in His Divine Providence, where at that very moment, it is GOD that I encounter.

There’s always a reason why a person is acting unexpectedly, there’s always an explanation to be shared after all, there’s always a moment to reflect of what’s happening and not to be judgmental, there’s always a reason why thing suddenly change, there’s always a need to understand, there’s always a need to adjust ourselves, there’s always a need to respect an individual…

And, sensitivity always comes together with understanding... Because GOD never creates me to be comfortable for everything…

By Monica Lisa, Malaysia

IFFAsia student batch 2010-2011

(Original photos by Nikkie)