“I am disturbed”

Living in a simple and yet contented life as the Mangyans, without water and electricity, was my first experience in such uncomfortable life since I arrived in the Philippines months ago. However, it was alright because I managed to cope with the unusual things which happened around me which I called as “disturbance”.

My most significant experience was when we went to Bait (another housing area) in a 4-wheel drive (4WD) vehicle. I was so disturbed along the way because I had no place to sit and I was squatting uneasily at the backside of the car. On top of that, it was moving really fast and the road condition was bad with rocks and we also crossed some streams. I could not really straighten my back and neck. Oh my goodness! I was crying really, asking for God’s comfort because “God! I am suffering!” That was the day that I called for God often! I was so blessed that I finally felt at peace after we arrived safe and sound. Praise the Lord!

The experience taught me to be stronger. Surprisingly, in all the days in Mindoro I was more contemplative and “disturbed” by the people, by the environment, and by God. I encountered new “disturbances” every day and it amazed me. Why? Because I am more aware of myself, that I am more reflective. In silence, I was more conscious of myself, my surroundings, and the best thing was being more attentive to my relationship with my Creator. For me, to be anxious has allowed me to truly enter into an intimate relationship with God through the nature and the people. Besides, seeing the reality made me stronger in faith and in heart.

I thank God that each day of the immersion had brought eye-opening experiences for me. The people that I met particularly the children, the sisters and brothers, and the elderly motivated me to carry on my daily task regardless of the difficulties and the “disturbances” that are in me. I am blessed that these “disturbances” that I felt and encountered brought me nearer to my everyday God especially being a young missionary. It was indeed an enriching experience!

By Monica Lisa, East Malaysia

IFFAsia Student, Batch 2010-2011